Find Robbie the Perfect Boyfriend

The quest for the perfect boyfriend takes time and can be fraught with peril.  My favorite t-shirt says “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Date No Evil.”  So it’s always best to be well prepared for bachelor-hood—however long that may take. So, if you find yourself “baching” as I do—here are a few things you may want to have around your house.

10. One well-fitting, all-season blazer.
A given for any man about town, a classic, navy blue, notched lapel, brass-button, single-breasted, center vent blazer will never let you down. You can always dress-up/down your blazer with accessories and pieces from trendier labels — but bottom-line, you’ll always need a blue blazer.

9. Respectable knowledge of local bars and restaurants.
Choosing a restaurant is an art form. And the single man about town must know what venue will best complement not only his wallet, but also his over all sense of style.

8. Bottle Opener.
This may sound like a given, but younger men are particularly bad about this one. Every man– no matter how small his bank account should own a good quality bottle opener that works for both beer and wine.  And no—that bottle opener on the bottom of your flip-flop doesn’t count.

7. Gym membership.
A good friend once said to me: “no pecs, no sex.” These are words to live by. Make a mental image of the kind of physique that turns you on, and then become that physique.

6. Passport.
Owning a passport is required for any man who needs to make a quick getaway.  And we do love to get away or in the way.

5. Flatware/Cutlery/Stemware to host a dinner party for 4.
It is in a bachelor’s blood to entertain. And what better way to showcase the bachelor’s chivalry and charisma than with a small dinner party at home. Go straight to Ikea for this one minus the stemware. Wine doesn’t taste the same in a mug or highball glass. Head William- Sonoma or Pier 1 for inexpensive yet durable “barware,” but don’t go overboard.

4. Spare Toothbrush.
Oral health is invaluable. Always keep a spare toothbrush in your home. It’s just plain hospitable to have a brand new toothbrush on hand for any last minute overnight guest. Your new friend will thank you in the morning.

3. Quality, clean, crisp linens.
There are few things worse than climbing into bed with a man who clearly hasn’t changed his sheets in weeks. It’s rank. It’s dirty. It’s unacceptable. If you want this guy to “open up,” then you’ll need to supply him with an environment that is cozy, welcoming, soft, and above all freshly laundered. No need to spend a fortune here, but always avoid sheets made of satin, sateen, polyester, or low-grade cotton. So reach for 500-thread count Egyptian cotton bedding (there is a reason it’s dubbed “Bed, Bath, and Boyfriend”).

2. A diverse selection of music.
You don’t have to be a Mozart expert, but a shoddy selection of show-tunes and Kylie won’t impress anyone. Fill up your iTunes with a few classics, some old standards, electronica and the latest hits.  Music sans words will always compliment your dinner party or late-night booty-call better than R. Kelly’s Chocolate Factory. Trust me on this one.

1. Premium lubricant.
Having spare condoms on hand is one thing. But forgetting to stock good lube is unacceptable. There’s nothing sexy about KY. And the last thing you want is to introduce medical anxiety into the bedroom (unless of course you’re going for a Doctor/Patient role play). KY is for prostate exams, not sexy foreplay. Stick to water-based.  It won’t last as long, but it will keep those new bed linens tidy.